हमसे सीखे कोई जीने का सलीका। सफर कैसा भी हो, मौज़ उडाये जाते हैं।। - Amir

Stock Market Humor: New Stock Market Terms
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET --...
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A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When investor's ex-wife and her lawyer split his assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.